I find it hard at times to be happy for friends and family when they fall pregnant or when they have the safe arrival of their new baby.
This isn't because I am a harsh person or anti-family, it's because not everyone understands the frustrations of knowing that you are the reason why you and your husband aren't able to conceive that baby that you both so desperately want.
Fertility doctors and nurses are great, but most of them have children and didn't have any issues themselves, it must be really hard for them to make the call every month "sorry, but your test came back negative".
Ovulation seems to be the most mysterious body function, nobody really seems to know how to make it work properly when it just doesn't want to work.
And don't get me started on the uterus, that just makes an awful situation even more undesirable.
After 6 months of fertility treatment we are no closer to falling pregnant. Even though the doctors have successfully made my body ovulate. It just seems as though pregnancy and motherhood eludes me.
This seems to be a good place to voice my inner frustrations that I can't really talk to anybody about, I am just seen as a harsh and hard person for feeling that I am a fertility failure and the 15 year old neighbour can fall pregnant as easily as my cat it seems.
Until next time.